The Kids just returned from a few days away with their grandparents. The first words out the The Boy’s mouth were: “I’m home. Would you like to give me a gift?”
The Boy, trying to encourage me to enter a contest: “But Mom… you can win $150. Cash money! And I need that money! How ’bout that, yo?”
The Girl, annoyed with her brother after he asked her about a video game: “Please, Sam. I’ve been playing that game since I was 8. And I’ve been 8 since 2007.”
She was 6 in 2007. Math was never her forte.
The Boy, singing along to “Call Me Maybe”: “Your stare was holding. Whipped cheese. Skin was showing.”
Me: “Did you just say, “whipped cheese?”
The Boy: “Yeah. Why? What is it?”
The Girl: “It’s ‘ripped jeans’.”
The Boy: “I was wondering why she would want whipped cheese.”
*The Boy & I have to do the Harvard Baseball Team car dance whenever this song comes on. The Girl thinks we’re idiots.
The Boy’s class was discussing rules & why we have them. They were asked to illustrate some of the rules they follow every day.
Here is The Boy’s contribution:
Words to live by.
The Girl’s Scout Troop Leader: “Girls, you’ve probably heard this phrase… ‘Beauty is in the Eye of…?”
The Girl: “The Tiger!”
The Boy: “Abby told me this scary story about a doll that gets a knife & kills this little girl. At first I was really scared but there’s no way that really happened. Know how I know?”
Me: “How do you know?”
The Boy: “Dolls don’t have opposable thumbs. No way that doll could grab a knife with her little nub hands.”
The Doctor: “Gotta wash my hands, because you’re important.”
The Boy: “I’m important? Oh, right. Without us patients, you doctors wouldn’t make any money.”
The Doctor: “Well, that’s certainly pessimistic.”
Me: “No. That’s cynical.”
The kids built habitats for their new tiny toys. The Girl’s includes a pool & a flower garden. The Boy’s includes a battle arena & a Portal of Doom.
The Girl: “Don’t tell them I said this, Mom, but sometimes… boys just aren’t that bright.”