The Boy likes to draw in bed when he can’t sleep. Last night he came downstairs with his latest creation so he could put it in his folder to bring to school “to give to Miss Callahan. Because Miss Callahan likes cats.”
Dear Miss Callahan:
If you thought this particular student would ever draw you a straightforward picture of a cat, say… drinking a bowl of milk or playing with a ball of yarn… then you haven’t been paying attention during school for the past 3 months. No, you get the SUPA-MECHA KITTY 3000!!!
It was Thanksgiving last week & if you work in retail, as I do, it’s not about the turkey, the stuffing, or the family get together. It’s about preparing for & surviving Black Friday. So as we head into the busiest shopping season of the year, I’d like to give everyone a little advice… just a little something from me to you:
If those of us at the store could make $100 Nintendo 3DS’s or $200 Xbox bundles appear out of our butts, believe me… we would NOT be working in retail.
The Boy: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a Secret Agent.”
The Girl: “Dude…it’s not going to be so ‘secret’ if you keep telling everyone about it.”
I love The Boy’s art. I think he has a talent. At age 7 it’s not refined, but it’s often as funny as he is. Drawing is not a talent I share. When The Girl was very little, she asked me to draw her something. When I handed her the paper with what I thought was a dog drawn on it, she said, “Oh Mommy! Nice… mouse…? Or … kitty?”
I like to call this one “Mommy’s Night Out” – I mean, c’mon…. a corkscrew holding a knife? It pretty much sums a night at the bars in the city where we live. Of course, my mom would probably call it “Drinking is Bad” because while she’s not good at titles, she excels at getting her point across.
The Girl, running back into the house: “Wait. I forgot something!”
The Boy: “Your personality?”
The Girl: “Hey! There’s a package on the front porch! I’m gonna go see who it’s from!”
The Boy: “If the return address is is ‘Evil, Incorporated’, DON’T OPEN IT!”
Yeah… that’s right. It’s not all about them. I get a day, too. But just once a week because, honestly… they are so much funnier than I am.
A few things you should know about me:
I walk too fast for automatic doors; I like my coffee how I like my men – weak & ineffective; And I’ve worked really hard & it’s taken quite a while, but the number of empty Lay’s Stax containers in my recycle bin now equals the number of empty wine bottles. I like to keep that ratio consistent.
Thanks for listening. They’ll be back tomorrow.
“Teaching her kids the meaning of “Benevolent Dictator” since 2001.”
After having the “Where Babies Come From/Facts of Life” talk with The Girl, she stares at me in horror for a moment before pointing to herself & saying incredulously, “There’s eggs & milk? I’ve got a whole farm going on in here!”
This morning The Kids & I did a 3-mile walk to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital (We walked for 5-year-old Emma Grace). The 3 miles were done by walking 6 laps around the mall. After each lap, we were given a Silly Band to mark how far we had gone. After the first lap, The Boy got a dog silly band. At the second, he got a bone. Half way through the 3rd lap he declared, “Hey! All I need is a fire hydrant!”