Tag Archives: Humor

WTF?

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The Boy: 6 years of Catholic school negated by 2 years of public school:

What St. Peter thought when he got to the empty tomb.

What St. Peter thought when he got to the empty tomb.

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I Need Some New Perfume

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The Girl, throwing her arms around my neck to give me a hug: “Ahhhh…. You smell like a mom…. overworked & under-acknowledged.”

What Year is the Bagel Anniversary?

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I’m in a bitter battle with The Ex over MoviePop – an online game where you have to guess what movie the clip is from. He’s really good at it. I’m… not.

The Boy walked past the computer as I was playing one day & saw his dad’s picture as my opponent. “You’re playing dad? And the category is ‘Romance’? Didn’t he get you like half a bagel for your anniversary one year? I think you got this one.”

Dear Readers: The Ex never actually got me half a bagel for our anniversary. I promise.

It was a whole bagel.

With cream cheese.

heart bagel  

He Would Have Made a Terrible Hippy Anyway

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The Kids & I love this song & we’ve pretty much nailed the hand claps.

The Boy: “Is this from the 80s?”

Me: “No but it sounds like it could be from the 70s.”

The Boy: “There was a 70s?!”

 

And He Looks Like Their Uncle Paul

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The Kids & I have been watching the Winter Olympics from Sochi, Russia. During the opening ceremonies & throughout the games, whenever they’ve shown Russian President Vladimir Putin, The Girl has noted the stern look he always has on his face. “Seems like it will be a cold day in Hades when he smiles.” (Her Catholic upbringing makes her cringe at the word “hell.”)

During a piece on the Russian Figure Skating Team who won Gold, Putin was shown hugging one of the figure skaters & a brief smile crossed his face. In a quiet voice from the other end of the couch, I heard The Girl: “Hades better get a sweater.”

He does kind of look like their Uncle Paul.

He does kind of look like their Uncle Paul.

Pharaoh Down!

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Laser Khet is a game that involves moving mirrored pieces to direct your laser until it hits your opponent’s Pharaoh. As I was playing with The Boy, I realized he had caught onto my strategy so I was taking a moment to see if I could figure out what his next move was going to be.

Apparently I was taking too long.

The Boy: “Go on… Make your move. Nothing going on here. Typical Tuesday… maybe I’ll get a cookie… perhaps a taco…. Go on.”

I lost.

laser khet