Monthly Archives: January 2013

President of the Public School System


The Superintendent of The Kids’ school system is notorious for not cancelling or delaying school during bad weather. One particularly snowy day, as I was driving them to school, I was muttering under my breath about what a lousy superintendent I thought he was.

The Boy: “This is why I voted for Romney.”

How Many Birthdays Does One Family Need?


Today is The Boy’s birthday. Yes, The Girl’s was just three days ago. And The Ex’s birthday is in April. Do the math. I’ll give you a minute….

That’s right. Once every three years, whether or not he wanted it.

The Joan brought cake yesterday when she came by with gifts for both of The Kids & there was some left. The Boy asked if he could have a piece for breakfast. I think Bill Cosby put it best:

“The child wanted chocolate cake for breakfast! How ridiculous! … And someone in my brain looked under chocolate cake and saw the ingredients: eggs! Eggs are in chocolate cake! And milk! Oh goody! And wheat! That’s nutrition! …

Only the cake we had was vanilla. Close enough.

The Boy looked lovingly at the piece of cake I handed him & said: “You taste like a vanilla demon of deliciousness.”

Another birthday off to a great start.

You Say it’s Your Birthday


It was The Girl’s birthday yesterday. Another year closer to perfecting her eye roll & her foot stomp. As she was getting out of the car at school drop-off, she leaned back into the car & said to The Boy, “Make sure all your friends wish me a happy birthday.”

The Boy: “Sure.”

As we drove away, I said, “That’s really nice of you buddy, but your friends don’t even know Grace. They don’t have to wish her a happy birthday.”

The Boy: “Oh, they’re not going to. I’m just going to tell her they did.”

Naughty New Year


I had just switched the TV to the New Year’s Eve special, “A Tribute to Dick Clark” as The Boy entered the room. The cable info part of the title simply said, “A Tribute to Dick…”

The Boy, looking slightly taken aback: “I’m sure we’re not the only kids awake. You would think they’d have something on that was a little more family friendly.”