The Boy recently had oral surgery. He had an errant tooth growing up under his nose. We called it his “freak tooth.” When explaining why he had to have it removed, I told him that it would keep growing & start pushing his teeth out & pushing his nose up. “Pig man!” he said, excitedly. “I can be Pig Man!”
It was his first time having anesthesia.
I’m not one of those parents who will video my kids coming out of anesthesia & post it on YouTube for the world to see. Instead, I just wrote down all the crazy things he said & am posting them here.
The oral surgeon had given The Boy a small dose of valium to take before we went to the office to make sure he was calm enough to handle the needles needed for the IV & the sedation. When we got to the office, an assistant put an anesthetic cream on his arms to further ensure he had no trouble with the needles. He sat quietly playing his DS with his arms held out so the cream wouldn’t get on anything. After a few minutes, he looked at me, gave me a bleery eyed smirk & said, “Hehehe…. I can’t feel my arms.”
I waited patiently to be called into the room after his procedure. When they finally let me see him, I brought his stuffed dog, Buddy, to comfort him while he recovered. He looked at me & tried to explain what had happened to him & the following came out with a mix of urgency & drunkenness… Maybe those parents with the video cameras were right….
The Boy: “Oh… Hey…. So they put a needle in my arm & then I was no where. And then you were here. Why are there two of you? (looking down at Buddy) Why does Buddy have three eyes? (as the nurse walks in) There’s two of you, too… Wait! Was the operation a success?!”
A while later we picked up The Girl & headed home. As we drove past the YMCA – a place The Boy detests (see Y? Because We Like You), he said, slurring, “YMCA… Your Child Abuse Center.”
The Girl: “You forgot the M. What’s the M stand for.”
The Boy: “My butt!”