Tag Archives: math

They’ll Both Kill You


The Boy has a phone. He has to walk home by himself when he starts 6th grade & I want him to be able to check in with me. Plus, it’s easier to get him to finish his chores if I can text him my demands.

The following are actual texts from┬áThe Boy about some summer school work he has to finish…

The Boy: “Mom I can’t find my meth books! Have you seen them?”

The Boy: “Sorry math. Auto correct. Very different. One will kill you. The other is an illegal street drug.”

How most of my house feels about math.

How most of my house feels about math.


Son + Punished = You


The Boy, randomly punching numbers into his calculator: “Let’s see… ‘Mom’ divided by ‘cool’ equals… Oh. Nothing!”

What’s My Age Again?


The Girl, annoyed with her brother after he asked her about a video game: “Please, Sam. I’ve been playing that game since I was 8. And I’ve been 8 since 2007.”

She was 6 in 2007. Math was never her forte.