Monthly Archives: December 2013

Take a Hint Robin Williams


While playing “Would You Rather” with The Kids, The Boy gets the following question:

Would you rather:
A) have your hostage negotiator be Robin Williams or
B) have your hostage negotiator be a mime?

The Boy, choosing B: “At least the mime will know when to shut up.”


MomDay Monday – The Twelve Days of Retail


On the 12th Day of Christmas, My Job Gave to Me:

  • Twelve Screaming Customers
  • Eleven Bratty Children
  • Ten Thousand Returns
  • Nine Empty Aisles
  • A Thousand Axe Gift Sets
  • Yes, It’s in the Back Room
  • No, We Have No XBox
  • Fiiiind It Yourseeeeelf….
  • Don’t Get Her a Vacuum
  • Trust Me on This
  • Get Her this Necklace…..
  • And Do You Have One of Our Charge Cards?

Yeah, It Does


The Boy, in the car: “Can we go to McDonald’s?”

Me: “I don’t have any money with me, Bud.”

The Boy: “I have $20 in my jacket.”

Me, after he hands me the $20: “This feels brand new. Did you just print this?”

The Boy: “No! What do you think I would be illegal & just print up my own batch of $20 bills so I would have tons of money for Legos & an Xbox…. actually… that does kind of sound like me.”