Tag Archives: KK

MomDay Monday – So Long, Sister

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I’ve put off writing this, as if not writing it will make it not happen; as if writing it will make it final.

My big sister is moving away. Far away. 2,657 miles away. But who’s counting.

Her husband is being transferred & she’s obviously going with him. Because that’s what you do. I’ve gotten used to seeing her every day. She helped me get the job that let me be home this Thanksgiving & away from my previous position that entailed catering to massive amounts of people who are willing to throw elbows to get merchandise at low, low prices. She also introduced me to the boyfriend that waited patiently through my crazy days to earn that title. So, with her work here done, she’s jetting off.

And I can’t begin to express how sad it makes me.

The yin to my yang. The Shirley to my Laverne. We’ve always been opposites and yet more alike than we care to admit. She, the cheerleader & chorus singer & tiny brunette. Me, the drama geek & marching band member & not so tiny blonde. She was always more fashionable than me, declaring on more than one occasion that she would “not walk to school with her looking like that!” Which was met with me wondering what was wrong with wearing a butterfly print shirt with a plaid sweater vest – at least one of which was inside out.

She’s the only one who knows what it was like to grow up with our parents – the good & the bad. We know each others secrets & we’ve covered for each other when we were out doing things we shouldn’t be. More recently, we’ve spent daily lunch hours planning family events & nights out & bitching about things that were pissing us off. She is my closest confidante & best friend. Her children give me hope for my own kids. (They are two of the brightest & funniest humans I’ve ever met.)

After several weeks of goodbye shindigs – one from her husband’s firefighter friends, one from our office, one last couples night out & a family gathering, we finally said a last farewell as they get set to fly out. She’s going somewhere where she knows nobody. I can’t imagine how intimidating that must be. I hugged her & told her she was going to be alright. In typical big sister fashion she said, “And so are you.”

Perhaps I will be. But I won’t be the same.

MomDay Monday – Needy Bitch

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Ever have one of those times where you know something is off but you can’t put your finger on what it is? So then you just over think it & come up with some weird conclusions that have nothing to do with reality?

No?

Liar.

We’ve all done it.

I try not to be needy although there are those among you who I’m allowed to be needy around. The KK – my big sister. The Hyde – my former college roommate and favorite ass kicker. The Joan – although she’ll just tell me that I need to stop drinking & “go to a meeting.” But for everyone else, I try to keep the neediness down & let things roll. It’s really hard to do sometimes.

I’m still learning how to let go & let things happen as they will. But sometimes, when I care about something a lot, I can fall into that routine of over thinking & coming to conclusions not based on reality. And sometimes, I have to give in to it & ask. Ask the other person if what I’m thinking is true. As a friend said, “Put on your big girl pants & take the world one ass kick at a time.” In other words, suck it up, make the call & get the answers you need. (ActuallyI don’t really know what that whole ‘big girl pants/ass kick’ thing means, but it sounded good.)

Will the other person think you’re crazy? Maybe. Okay – probably. Will you get the answers you want? Absolutely not. But you’ll get the answers you need.

So where does this temporary neediness come from? We are all a product of our past. Let’s face it – if your past involves a roller coaster, you’re going to brace yourself for a roller coaster. You’ll see dizzying heights & plunging lows where there aren’t any. But once you’re on something more like a Ferris wheel – slow & steady but when you get to the top, it’s breathtaking you can’t look at it like it’s a roller coaster. (Not my best analogy but it’s late & I’ve had a long day.) What I’m trying to say is that we can’t look at the present & expect it to be the same as the past. We need to judge each situation on its own merits & try our hardest to not let the those past roller coasters take us for a ride.

It’s not easy. But it’s got to be done.

And since I’ve never really been a fan of roller coasters, I’ll take two tickets for the Ferris wheel, please.