One Thing

Yesterday was a long day.

Looooooooooooooong day.

As I was brushing my teeth, The Boy came into the bathroom, full of energy, asking a million questions & talking up a storm.

Me: “Buddy, it’s been a really long day & I just want to go to bed.”

He chattered on for a few more minutes until I finally just needed quiet.

Me: “Seriously, bud. I can’t do one more thing. I’m all done with today & I can’t do even one more thing. I just want to go to bed.”

The Boy: “Well, isn’t THAT one more thing?”

Here’s a link to a hipster video for a really great song called “One Thing.” See what I did there?

Face Palm Sunday

Today is Palm Sunday but after a morning that involved having to get up early, not being able to find his shoes, and, for some reason, not being able to get palms at church, The Boy declared it “Face Palm Sunday.”

Career Choices

We were at the local trampoline park & their mascot, a bright green kangaroo named “Joey,” came out to greet the crowd.

The Girl: “This guy’s thinking ‘Be a dentist, mom said. You’ll be very successful, she said. But no… I had to go into theater arts.’ How’s that working out for you, pal?”

What poor career choices look like

MomDay Monday – So Pissed

I’m angry.

So angry.

Pissed off, actually.

Every now & then I get in a mood where every wrong that was ever done surfaces. Whether it’s to me, to my kids, by me, or to humanity in general. And it just spirals until I’m in such an angry, pissed off mood that no one is safe.

I usually decompress with jumping jacks until my legs give out. Or by drinking too much wine (as if there is such a thing).Or by just yelling at every living thing that crosses my path (my apologies to the cat & the chinchilla).

Because I don’t want to write about it. Writing about it means you’ll know I’m not perfect (because I’m sure I’ve had you all fooled up til now). And writing about it means I have to admit that I’m not perfect (because sometimes I have myself fooled).

But here goes…

I’m angry…

at your betrayal
at your criticism
that I believed your criticism all these years
that Donald Trump is actually winning this thing
that a boy tried to make my daughter feel less than
that my son doesn’t realize how amazing he is
that sometimes I’m the reason my son doesn’t realize how amazing he is
that I’ve passed on some horrible thinking to my children
about my budget
at the extra 20 pounds my medication put on
that I’m blaming the medication for the extra 20 pounds
that you’re 15 minutes early
that you’re 15 minutes late
that I can’t find a fireplace grate to fit my teeny tiny fireplace
that my fireplace is so teeny tiny
I don’t have your life although I know your struggles & if I had to choose, I would choose my struggles over yours
David Bowie died
it’s snowing… again
that you only get in touch when you want something
that you want me to be something I’m not
that I thought you were something you’re not
I will never succeed at anything on Pinterest
I let myself be swayed
you live so far away
that big boobs get you special treatment
you gave up
I gave up

Now… where’s that wine?

 

To Sleep, Perchance to Time Travel

The Boy: “Sleep is just a time warp between bedtime & breakfast.”

MomDay Monday – I’ve Been Called Worse

“Merry Christmas, Mr. White. And to you Mrs. White.”

A simple greeting from someone we’ve known a long time. But as she said, “Mrs. White” her face dropped & she stammered for a moment, apologizing as she leaned in to give me a hug. As if she had said something wrong. It’s a common reaction. People just don’t know what to call me sometimes. In her defense, we were standing in a Catholic church. The Kids had just served Christmas mass & The Ex & I were waiting for them to change out of their robes. Let’s face it… it’s not exactly the place to go when you want to be around people who are comfortable with your divorce.

I specifically kept my married name after the divorce. I did ask The Ex if it was okay. I mean, it was his name first & I guess I thought that maybe he wouldn’t want me to use it anymore. But it’s my kids’ name. And they were young enough at the time that I didn’t want to deal with schools & clubs & teams trying to sort out different last names.

I suppose it’s not the name so much as the “Mrs.” that throws people off. Whereas a man will always be called “Mr.” regardless of his marital status, a woman gains the title of “Mrs.” only when she’s married. So when she’s no longer married….? What then?

I can’t speak for every divorced woman. I’m sure there are those out there who would keep their married name then get offended at being called “Mrs.” – as if the most important thing for everyone on earth is to know what title they prefer. As for me, I feel like my last name came with the “Mrs.” so if that’s what you want to call me, feel free – especially if you met me when I was actually a Mrs.

Somehow, in my little mind, the title goes with the parenting of these two kids. “Mrs.” equates to “Mom.” I was Mrs. when these two cherubs came into being. It took Mr. & Mrs. to create them. It’s still a perfectly acceptable thing to call me.

If you feel more comfortable with “Ms.” that’s fine too. Want to go with a straight up “Miss”? Do it. (Although “Miss” implies youth & I actually get pissed when I’m asked for an ID. I mean, do a lot of 19-year-olds struggle with crows feet?) Or just use my first name. Or “Hey… The Girl’s Mom”! or “Yo – Boy’s Mom!” Whatever works.

So as she leaned in for the hug, apologizing for calling me “Mrs.” I said, “Lots of people still call me Mrs. White. Please don’t feel bad.”

Because believe me – whatever you call me… I’ve been called worse.

The Not-So-Friendly Skies

We went to Arizona for Thanksgiving to visit KK. At the Phoenix airport waiting for our flight home, The Boy observed: “What kind of airport has carpet with pictures of planes flying over hurricanes? Way to go, Phoenix.”

Glad he didn’t notice that it looks like they’re going to crash, too.

That Was Deep

Me, as this song comes on the radio: “I used to think this song was so sweet, but it’s actually kind of sad.”

The Girl: “Mom… In happiness, we hear the music. In sadness, we listen to the lyrics.”

 

MomDay Monday – As I See…

Just days after Veterans Day, my friend Shannon sent her husband John off into the great unknown that is military deployment. A mom of three, this military life has taken her family around the country to their current life in Virginia. I am beyond grateful that their nationwide tour brought them to my city & into my life. I am beyond sad that their time here ended & they moved on to greater things (MomDay Monday – Goodbye Friends).

We no longer talk every day – a fact made inevitable by life & kids & jobs & homes – although we’re still in touch when we need to be. But through the magic of social media, we still get to see a piece of each other’s lives. Usually it’s the sunny & the shiny things we post. This morning I woke up to this post from Shannon:

“Social media is remarkable:
As I see posts of children and families smiling, playing and enjoying life I think to myself: I just sent my husband off to protect that.
As I see posts of attacks in Paris, Beirut and Baghdad I think to myself: I just sent my husband off to defend that.
As I see posts about gun control and our government I think to myself: I just sent my husband off to protect that.
As I see posts of the American flag waving proudly through the sky I think to myself: I just sent my husband off to defend that.
Here I sit, with my stomache in knots, struggling to catch my breath at times, and my heart in pieces, I am emotional and powerless because I just sent my husband, an active duty service member of the United States of America off into a troubled world of uncertainty and unpredictability and I wonder do others ever sit back and think what THAT feels like? God bless America and the Sailors who possess the strength to walk across that ships brow into the unknown world to defend and protect Americans, or the Soldiers who stand on the enemies soil prepared to fight in hopes of returning home soon. I could not be more proud of my husband and my family for all the things we muscle through, and I hope that others take a moment and reflect on just a few of the sacrifices made from the military and their families so you can enjoy your freedom and democracy: because I just sent my husband off to defend and protect that.”

I’ve written about my nephew, Dan & his time in the Marines (MomDay Monday – God Speed). But that knot in my stomach that I talked about is from an aunt’s perspective – not from someone who lived with him daily. How much bigger must that knot be when it’s the person you most rely on?

As John deployed last night, Shannon posted this picture with the caption “Goodbyes are not beautiful, but true love certainly is. Stay safe lover!!”

I’m sure she’ll forgive me for stealing her picture.

I couldn’t comment. Couldn’t even “like” it. Once again I watch this family go through a deployment. And this time, it’s from too far away to do anything but pray. Especially in light of everything that’s happened in the world in the past week, I hate that my friend has to go through this.

Like Shannon, I could not be more proud of John. And I could not be more proud of Shannon & her children as they endure yet another round of uncertainty. So as we pray for Paris & Beirut & refugees who have no home, please… add a prayer not only for our military, but for those who just sent their husband off to defend & protect.

Think About It…

The Girl: “Good thing that’s not listed three times.”