Ever have one of those times where you know something is off but you can’t put your finger on what it is? So then you just over think it & come up with some weird conclusions that have nothing to do with reality?
We’ve all done it.
I try not to be needy although there are those among you who I’m allowed to be needy around. The KK – my big sister. The Hyde – my former college roommate and favorite ass kicker. The Joan – although she’ll just tell me that I need to stop drinking & “go to a meeting.” But for everyone else, I try to keep the neediness down & let things roll. It’s really hard to do sometimes.
I’m still learning how to let go & let things happen as they will. But sometimes, when I care about something a lot, I can fall into that routine of over thinking & coming to conclusions not based on reality. And sometimes, I have to give in to it & ask. Ask the other person if what I’m thinking is true. As a friend said, “Put on your big girl pants & take the world one ass kick at a time.” In other words, suck it up, make the call & get the answers you need. (Actually, I don’t really know what that whole ‘big girl pants/ass kick’ thing means, but it sounded good.)
Will the other person think you’re crazy? Maybe. Okay – probably. Will you get the answers you want? Absolutely not. But you’ll get the answers you need.
So where does this temporary neediness come from? We are all a product of our past. Let’s face it – if your past involves a roller coaster, you’re going to brace yourself for a roller coaster. You’ll see dizzying heights & plunging lows where there aren’t any. But once you’re on something more like a Ferris wheel – slow & steady but when you get to the top, it’s breathtaking – you can’t look at it like it’s a roller coaster. (Not my best analogy but it’s late & I’ve had a long day.) What I’m trying to say is that we can’t look at the present & expect it to be the same as the past. We need to judge each situation on its own merits & try our hardest to not let the those past roller coasters take us for a ride.
It’s not easy. But it’s got to be done.
And since I’ve never really been a fan of roller coasters, I’ll take two tickets for the Ferris wheel, please.