The Perfect Parent

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An Open Letter to the Most Perfect Mother of the Most Perfect Child on Earth:

I know that baby of yours is an amazing, talented, genius who will probably cure cancer or, better yet, rid the world of the Kardashians. And all this at the tender age of 6 months. But just so you know… one day that child will do something embarrassing when you take them to a store. Something that will make you question all your parenting skills. Something so horrendous that you may actually consider sending them to live with the Kardashians.

And at that point, I hope another Perfect Parent of another Perfect Child looks at your kid with as much disgust as you were able to muster for my child. I also hope that, at that moment, you don’t shrink from your duty as a mother & are able to look back at her, make your child apologize & then tell her, “Lighten up. Your baby will survive.”

Because when you can forgive your children their childishness… when you can realize that their infractions are not the end of the world… and when you can understand that while you are allowed to be disgusted with your kids, no one else is… THAT’s when you earn the title of Most Perfect Mother, at least to your own kids.

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